Misunderstandings
by jandjsalmon
Summary: Tracey Davis and Greg Goyle are best friends - always have been - but now they both feel more but are afraid to let the other know. Fear and misunderstandings abound. One of many jandjsalmon/airmidm colabs written in 2007/2008.


**Title:** Misunderstandings 1/1  
**Authors:** jandjsalmon and airmidm  
**Summary:** Tracey and Greg are best friends - always have been - but now they both feel more but are afraid to let the other know. Fear and misunderstandings abound.  
**Pairing/Fandom:** Tracey Davis/Greg Goyle  
**Rating/Warnings/Notes:** PG because Greg has a potty mouth and there is kissing.

Misunderstandings

Greg paced the dorm room. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. It wasn't a feeling he was used to, at least not where Tracey was concerned. They'd been best mates, confidants...each other's _everything_ for as long as he could remember. Just because he'd started noticing the cut of her robes, the way her face lit up when she smiled at him, and how much he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless didn't mean that _she_ felt the same. Shaking his head to clear the memory of how right she felt in his arms the night before and his private 'session' in the shower after she'd gone back to her dorm, he picked up her cloak from where she'd left it on his bed when she'd swiped his hooded jumper earlier and made his way through the house, not bothering to explain to anyone where he was going. He didn't miss the knowing looks from Draco and Blaise, nor did he miss Pansy's wicked little grin. He felt the heat as he flushed at the realization that his friends weren't as uninformed as he'd like.

The dungeons were chilly and he hunched over in defence having left his own cloak behind. He wasn't going to bother with facing the gauntlet of 'friends' if he went back for it. He knew, just knew, that Pansy would be full of advice, Draco would just shake his head, and Blaise would mutter something sarcastic. He didn't need them telling him that Tracey was way too good for him, he knew that well enough already. He would have to find out how to go back, force himself to see her as nothing more than his honorary sister and best mate again. He didn't want to reveal his feelings only to see the pity in her eyes. He was the recipient of enough pitying looks as it stood. It wasn't his fault that words looked a jumble on the page to him. No matter what he tried, what Tracey tried, nothing worked. It was almost like someone had cast a Confundus Charm on all his books and parchments. No one but he and Tracey knew why more often than not she would curl up next to him, or on his lap, and read their school books aloud. Why she'd take every class he had along with her electives as extra courses. No one knew _why_ he failed miserably at written work and yet excelled in his practical Charms lessons. Wand movements and incantations he could handle, memorizing them quickly and easily. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to learn. In fact, he knew how important knowledge was. He could recite _'The Little Prince'_ in English and French. It had been he and Trace's favourite book as children and so he'd memorized it. It was rather like a game now, the two of them quoting it and other 'classics' to see if the other could name the book. But all of that came from her reading _to_ him rather than him getting it on his own.

"Goyle! Greg! Hold up."

Greg stopped, turning on his heel with a light sigh at the sound of Vince's voice. His second oldest friend. Vince wasn't the smartest bloke, but he was loyal and that went a long way with Greg. It constantly surprised him that the rest of the school thought the two of them were nothing more than muscle for Draco. That was only partially true. First and foremost, Greg was as loyal to Tracey as Tracey was to him. If forced to choose, he'd even put his loyalty to Vince above his loyalty to the Malfoy heir, but none of them surpassed what he'd always felt for her. They were friends, a family even. But, Draco and Blaise were attached at the hip, Pansy adored each one of them in her own way, and Vince quietly went about his business always keeping an eye on Tracey and Greg. Greg had learnt about age five that he could count on Tracey no matter what while trusting the others would be totally dependant on the circumstances. Draco and Pansy would never do anything to go against their fathers, and with good reason, while Blaise was forever living up to the standards his mother set. Even Vince couldn't be counted on in some cases. He feared his father as much as the rest of them feared theirs. What that meant was that it was he and Tracey versus the world. Always had been.

"What do you need, Vince?" Greg asked, tossing Tracey's cloak over his shoulder and leaning against the wall.

Vince shrugged and then smirked. "I saw Tracey heading out toward the lake. I thought you'd want to know since she was all but buried in that hooded jumper of yours. You know, the one I've only seen _you_ wear the one time? She looked a little sad."

Greg snickered. "She insisted I buy it, and it is all but hers anyway." His amusement died when Vince's words registered. "What?"

Vince held his hands up. "I don't know why or if someone said something to her. Like I said, I saw her and figured you'd be the only one to get her to say what was wrong. Or to make her feel better."

Greg ran a hand through his hair. _Damn. Damn. Damn._ "The lake you said?" At Vince's nod, he pushed off the wall and turned towards the stairs. "This is between us, right?"

"Of course," Vince mumbled. "I'll make myself scarce, you know I can't keep a secret from Pans to save my life. I don't like seeing Trace sad either. It's just not right."

Greg hurried up the stairs, agreeing wholeheartedly with Vince. He'd always made a concentrated effort to keep a smile on Tracey's face. Merlin, the sheer amount of stupid stunts he'd pulled just to get a laugh out of her would provide blackmail information for years. His only saving grace was that there were no pictures. He skirted the crowd in the Entrance Hall as best he could and ducked out the open doors. The chilly wind hit him full on in the face, leaving him gasping a bit. _And Trace is out in this without a cloak. What in Merlin's name could be bothering her? She'll be laid up in bed for a week if she stays out in this any longer._

He waved off a couple of lower year Slytherins with nothing more than a menacing glare. He didn't have time for their whinging right now. Likely they wanted him to do something ridiculously cliche like threaten a Gryff or a Huffie for them. Normally he didn't mind, it was rather amusing how quickly most would stutter out an apology thinking that he'd thrash them if they didn't. It was well known, inside of Slytherin, that he wouldn't stand idly by while a girl, any girl, was being harassed. How Potter and his sidekicks hadn't figured it out was a constant source of amusement. Those three ran amok, getting away with breaking nearly every school rule on a whim but ignoring the important things. He'd lost count of the 'warnings' he'd handed out in the last six years. _Morons!_ He knew he was distracting himself from worrying about the beautiful woman he knew was hiding where she had always gone - ever since first year- underneath the willow half way around the Lake opposite of the Forbidden Forest.

He tried to approach quietly, but it wasn't an easy feat for someone his size. While he wasn't as large or as lumbering as he'd been in years past, he was still big. The crunch of the leaves under his boots would give her a bit of a warning. She had to know it was him since no one else dared bother her when she retreated here. It had long been her refuge and he knew she was troubled when he saw her curled up at the base of the large willow, hidden under the branches that swayed gently over the edge of the Hogwarts lake. He lifted the branches, not stepping under the canopy without her saying that he could. He'd always respected her privacy, especially since she had been known to 'silence' him when he didn't. "Trace?"

She had been trying not to think about him. Something that was growing increasingly difficult. They'd been raised together. Their mums had been best mates at school. He was a best mate, big brother, confidant, and protector all rolled into one. She adored him as flawed and imperfect as he was. It was just frustrating, not knowing _how_ to tell him that she wanted more than just that. She wasn't even sure she wanted him to know. It could never be more than just one sided adoration. She wanted to be _his_ everything and she knew that she just wasn't the type of girl he'd ever be interested in. She was quiet and shy and the opposite of clever, and though most people saw him as only Draco's side-kick, she knew that he was witty and sarcastic on his own and that a large part of that henchman personae was because he was so protective and caring. He'd always taken care of her anyway, so she knew that he was something special. It was only a matter of time until someone vivacious and fun saw that too.

Frowning a bit, she breathed deeply, taking in the smell of Greg's cologne left lingering on the jumper she wore. She smiled wistfully at the memory when they'd bought it. It dwarfed her yet she loved it. It had been one of the few things she insisted Greg buy on one of their yearly trip to Paris with their mothers. She had known then that asking for one for herself wasn't an option, her mother would have balked at the very idea of her very ladylike daughter wearing anything so common, but she also knew that Greg wouldn't care if she nicked it from him whenever she liked. Just like he never cared that she would curl up next to him or in his lap, taking in his warmth and sense of safety that he always instilled in her. She heard the crunch of the leaves covering the ground and knew, just knew that he'd come looking for her. He always came for her. She wrapped her arms around her legs and laid her forehead on her knees. The hood fell forward, covering all but the end of her plait. She wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to him right at the moment so she didn't say a word. There was only so much seeing something that you couldn't have that one girl could take before breaking completely. Especially when it was dangled in front of her in the guise of her best friend.

"Tracey?" he asked again. She was quiet normally, but not hearing her answer him made his heart flip. Sighing, he wondered exactly when she'd gone from best mate, confidant, and little sister to crush in his mind. She was the best thing that had happened to him and Greg didn't want to screw that up. Something had happened and he didn't know what he'd done, but he was fairly sure it had to do with him. "Do you want me to stay or go?"

Sighing she looked up and tried to smile at her best mate. He had no idea what he did to her. It was like a cross of hurting and swooning that couldn't be explained. She didn't really want him to go though, so she let the smile reach her eyes and said softly, "You can come in, Greg."

He sighed, half in relief and half in defeat. _You can't go confessing your true feelings to your upset best mate, idiot,_ he berated himself. _I'm not good enough for more with Trace. She deserves someone better. Someone cultured and refined. Someone more...well more of everything._ He stepped under the canopy, releasing the branches and sitting cross-legged next to her. The only sound was the soft swish of the branches on the surface of the lake, the wind, and their breathing. He dropped her cloak about her shoulders and then waited, allowing his mind to drift a bit.

No one really, truly understood either of them or how their friendship worked. Even as close as Blaise, Draco, and Pansy were, their friendship wasn't as easy as his and Tracey's was. Now he knew why. He'd been in love with her for at least three years, maybe longer- when he was too young to understand his feelings. But now, now he knew what those feelings were. He'd accepted the fact that he'd never be good enough for her - that he was forever relegated to best mate, but that didn't make them go away. In fact, they just grew stronger the more time he spent with her. Tracey was so shy that she'd not dated, not really, and while he felt horrible mentally cheering that little fact, he knew it wasn't going to be for long. She was gorgeous and funny and there was more than one bloke starting to realize that. It was just so fucking difficult to watch her and _want_ her and Merlin knew that the day she did start dating it would kill something deep down inside him. When he shivered from the chill, even protected under the canopy, he whispered, "Will you come inside with me, dear one? I don't want you to get sick. I don't know what is upsetting you, but when you're ready, I'll listen."

"I'm all right, Greg. Nothing to worry about - just a down day. I'm warm enough anyway." She fingered the jumper and smiled as she cast a warming charm on her friend. "Your jumper... I'm sorry I didn't ask before I nicked it this morning. You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you and then I was busy with Madam Pomfrey all day. I wasn't able to ask you in classes. How are _you_ anyway? Professor Snape held you after class today." She smiled shyly when he looked up at her in surprise. She may have been with the school nurse all day, but that didn't stop a girl from knowing when her Head of House was going to single out the entire Quidditch team for their exceptional play. "Are you all right, then? Nothing said about anything big and sports related?"

"I'm fine." He knew the only reason she even watched the bloody games were because of him, so when she got so excited about the upcoming Slytherin/Gryffindor game he knew it wasn't because she was a sports fan. Tracey spent every second Friday in the Infirmary doing practical work but he should have known that she'd know that Snape had dangled an overnight trip to Hogsmeade for the entire team. If they finally beat Gryffindor each player would be permitted to take a guest with them. Creative bribery, that was. "You're welcome to anything of mine you want, Poppet, you know that."

Greg laid his arm about her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing her brow. "You'll go with me, yeah? We'll win, I know we will."

Tracey shivered when he kissed her forehead. It was strange, but as good as it felt it still hurt a little to have him do things like that, especially when she knew that he meant them strictly as a brother and best mate instead of the way she wanted him to. Did she want to go on an overnight trip to Hogsmeade with him? Hell, yes, she did, but it wasn't exactly the way he was thinking.

Greg pulled back slightly, tipping her chin up with his hand, looking her in the eyes. He wanted to kiss her, spill his feelings, his true feelings but the words stopped before they reached his mouth. He wouldn't do it, not when she was obviously upset like this and he had no way of knowing whether it was him who upset her or not. "Tell me what's really bothering you, dear one. Please?"

Tracey tried to shake her head away but he held her firm. He wanted her to look at him and it physically hurt to do it. She didn't _want_ to look at him so she closed her eyes, trying not to imagine soft lips and tender caresses. The things she wanted but knew weren't meant to be. She was far too quiet and shy for someone like him. Too unremarkable. He thought so little of himself, that he was just Draco's henchman, but Tracey knew the truth. There was an exceptional boy there underneath all that conditioning. Someone who deserved the most fascinating and brilliant of girls to take notice of him, not the quiet girl who'd been his friend since they were in nappies. Not her.

Inwardly he groaned. Well, it may have even been done aloud because seeing her that way made all his wants come to the surface. Greg knew he wouldn't be able stop himself, not when her eyes were closed and she looks so beautiful and ready to be kissed. He wondered if she even knew what she was doing to him - what she'd always done to him.

He let his hand move from her chin to cup the side her face, running his thumb back and forth on her cheek. Reaching with his other hand, he leaned forward slowly, tentatively, giving her one last chance to back away before breathing deeply and brushing his lips over hers. It was like a soft breeze but he knew she felt it. His hands were shaking. This was it. She'd either slap him, hex him, or run away and never speak to him again. It was never going to be the same after this but it felt so good, so right to hold Tracey this way finally.

As soon as he moved his hands her heart started pounding, but when his lips ghosted over hers it nearly stopped. Her eyes opened wide and she pulled away, very nearly hitting her head on the low lying branches when she stood. "I- you ought not... I can't- I'm sorry." Her face had to be scarlet as she turned from him and all but ran back to the castle.

Greg slumped against the tree, burying his face in his hands. _You idiot, you moron. Why?_

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, though at some point he realized that her warming charm had worn off. Slowly, he got to his feet and started walking back towards the castle. He'd known that she wouldn't want him, that he should have stopped himself from ruining everything. Tracey would surely stay away from him now. The thought broke him a bit. _What am I going to do without her?_

"Gregory?"

He looked up, knowing he had to look as miserable as he felt. He didn't care though. Pansy wouldn't let him past until he spilled everything anyway, it was just how she was. "What do you want, Pans?"

"Why are you out here without Tracey? I saw you from the doorway. You look like you've lost your best..." Her eyes widened and she grabbed his arm, marching him into the castle. "Whatever you did, you'll be fixing."

He sullenly followed beside her. Pansy _wasn't_ above hexing him to get him to move and they both knew it. _I've ruined it. There is no fixing this._ Greg didn't look up until Pansy banged on the girls dorm room door before opening it wide, all the while muttering. "She'd best be in here, you daft boy. Trust _you_ to muck something up that is so important."

Tracey heard the knock before she registered what it meant. She hadn't locked the door when she'd come in, so it was the universal sign that a boy was being brought into the dorm. No doubt it was Pansy and Theo. They'd only recently started dating but if her past relationships were any indication, it _was_ about time for her to bring him here for a good snog. Tracey's stomach rolled at the idea. Multiple boyfriends were not what Tracey thought of as a good time, even if she were the type to attract them. She had much rather have no boyfriend and just spend time with Greg. Though kissing him had bollocksed that up too. Tracey sat up, preparing to excuse herself when Pansy brought _him_ through the door instead.

Her heart plummeted. She didn't know why he was there, not the real reasons anyway. Instantly, her mind went to the most logical reason and she knew she was going to be sick. He'd kissed her by _their_ tree only to come back to snog the next witch that came along. It was just her luck that _that_ witch had the loosest lips in Slytherin.

"Tracey?" Pansy asked calmly. She'd really had enough of all this denying. "Trace, I found Greg outside and-"

"I know, Pans. Thank you. I'll just let you have the room then, yeah?" Tracey asked quietly, not looking at either of them. She unzipped his hoodie and laid it on the foot of Pansy's bed as she thought wicked and unsaid thoughts about finding a better method of letting mates know about bringing blokes round. She tucked her hair behind her ear, it was always a massive bunch of curls when she released it from a braid, and tried not to look anywhere at all but the door that she was quickly walking toward.

Greg's eyes were wide. Her head was bowed and her face flushed and he knew her well enough to read her expressions even if he couldn't read her mind. She looked mortified that Pansy would have brought him there and then his mouth opened in shock. She'd taken off his jumper and was walking away from him. He couldn't let that go. He didn't know what else to do, his mind was still reeling from the idea that Tracey thought he was here to snog Pansy. He reached out, catching Tracey in his arms and pulled her tightly against his chest. _How could she think that?_

Pansy slipped out, closing the door behind her, and glaring at him as if to say 'you're on your own. Fix it!' Didn't she realize that that was the only thing he wanted to do right now? He knew he should wait for Tracey to speak, wait until she was ready, but he just couldn't. "Trace, I'm sorry."

She didn't move. He held her tightly but she didn't want to say anything. Not now. She just wanted to not deal with this right now. _Can't we go back to before?_ "There is nothing to be sorry about," she whispered.

"I upset you," he murmured into her hair. He was at a loss as to what he was supposed to do. Holding her had always worked before, but he wasn't sure that whether it was the correct thing to do now? She had run from him. Would it be better to let her loose? _What the ruddy hell am I supposed to do?_ He couldn't just let her walk away. "I never wanted to upset you, Poppet."

Tracey nodded, keeping the tears that threatened from falling. She tried not to put too much thought into his hand absentmindedly running through her hair. He probably didn't even realize what he was doing but every touch made the tingles move down her neck and she longed to sigh into them and let him kiss her again like he had at the lake.

"I just need to know why, Greg. Why would you do that?" her voice was quiet but she knew he heard her because he grew very still. She didn't know why she needed an answer, but she had to know whether it was an accident, a great big cosmic joke, or if maybe, just maybe he felt a tiny bit for her of what she felt for him. He was more than her best mate. He was her everything. Always had been.

Greg held her tightly and kissed her forehead. He sighed deeply and ran his fingers through the curls at her back before walking them over to Tracey's bed. He sat down on the edge and pulled her into his lap. He didn't want to ruin their friendship because he'd been stupid and hadn't been able to control himself and his feelings. His thoughts were a jumble but the only thing that was clear was that he couldn't loose Tracey- even if she couldn't ever truly be his - _I love you, that's why I did it._ "I'm so sorry, Poppet. I just couldn't stop myself from kissing you, not when I've wanted to for so long." Tracey stopped breathing but he continued as he rubbed her back in low concentric circles. "I loathe upsetting you, dear one, I never wanted to upset you. If you won't let me adore you like I want to, will you still be my best friend? Forgive me, please."

Her insecurities all but melted away as she smiled shyly. He loved her, well, he wanted to adore her, it was almost the same thing. She didn't know what to say, but she needed him to know there was nothing to forgive, to understand that she wasn't going to run away again, so she leaned forward and with the barest of touches on his cheek, she kissed him gently on the mouth, feeling his breath catch with her boldness.

Greg sighed into her mouth and brought his arms around her fully as she sat in his lap. It felt so good, so right to actually hold her like this, to be kissing her like this and mean it. He could hardly believe that she wasn't running from him again, but a part of him understood why she'd done it, he could feel she was as frightened of losing him as he was of losing her. He slowly brought his hand up and buried in her hair, keeping the kiss as light as he could. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her away now that he had her in his arms. He didn't want to ever let her go.

Sharing the same breath, he pulled back and looked at her in wonder, "Trace, what-"

She cut him off with another long and languid kiss. He was still treating her like she was fragile, Tracey felt him shiver as she grew bolder and softly licked the outside of his lips. She'd never kissed anyone but him, had never even dreamt about kissing anyone but him and she'd had no experience at all, but she knew that she wanted to be closer to him than she was.

His thumb brushed her cheek as he tasted her and he shuddered when she shifted in his lap so she had better access to him. Her hands pulled at the hair at the back of his neck and when he groaned at her tugging she pulled back, afraid that she'd hurt him. He looked down at her, his hazel eyes full of something she'd never seen there before, and she knew that it had been a very different kind of groan, not one in pain at all.

_Does she know what she's doing to me?_ he wondered, unable to resist drawing her closer and kissing her again. He was leashing his need to take control, to lay her out on his bed and explore every inch of her body. She was _his_ now, in every way, but she was innocent and it was something that he didn't want to take away from her, not just yet. He managed to pull away from her and rest his forehead against hers. Their breathing was heavy.

Greg looked down at her and smiled as he touched her face. "Trace, is this okay?"

Tracey nodded and let her eyes meet his. "This is okay." _This is more than okay. This is a dream. It can't be real._

"It's more than okay," he murmured in reply, meaning it from the depths of his heart and soul. The world could implode around them and as long as he had Tracey, he'd be just fine. "This is how it's supposed to be."


End file.
